2 Dream Killing Behaviours you Need to Avoid6 March 2018
The biggest cause of distress in our lives is usually a result of us not fulfilling our potential.
When we don't fulfill our potential, we become restless; we've all this energy though we've not set up the frameworks to structure its flow. The energy has to be released; though without focus it can become volatile and begin discharging as pain, depression, anger etc…
Making plans and setting goals create the structure needed to focus our energy. This is okay, as the vast majority of us will have no shortage of ambition, the problem, however, is that we often are unwilling to commit or decide on a certain course of action OR we do decide, though quickly regress back to our old ways and quit.
So, therefore, the two biggest dream killers are arguably:
- Indecisiveness &
- Negative Regression
Being indecisive means we're not great at making clear decisions, and this can result in a very stagnant life or a life where we exhaustingly go around in circles.To overcome this we need to be rational, our indecisiveness stems from a fear of not knowing the future outcome. Usually, rather than acknowledge this fear we create stalling issues e.g. I'm not ready or 'this needs to be arranged first'. Understand, the only way we become ready is through a process, and therefore we must start first. It's through the process we uncover the gems, polish our art and allow ourselves to grow. A good example of this is how authors will write their novels; it's not unusual for them at the beginning to write pages of BS knowing that it will never make the final edit, though they write it anyway as they know this is the process that uncovers the quality content. Don't even think about needing certainty; if you really want certainty do nothing, and you can be certain of becoming nothing. For those that are willing to take a leap of faith, good this is the smart thing to do; chances are you will make the right choice, and even if you don't it's important to quickly identify the wrong choices so we can quickly discard them and move on.
The, Take Away? GET STARTED!
Negative Regression is a whole different scenario. This is where we start our new lifestyle change with the best intentions in the world, though a short time after starting, we revert back to our old way of doing things; this is because either a) we didn’t really want the change in the beginning or b) we've become disheartened due to lack of progress. Steering Clear of these debilitating success factors is all about the prep work...
a) Before, engaging in a new lifestyle change, do your homework, find out is it really for you. We tend to look at things on a very superficial level, we see something that we think we want and then, soon after, realize O NO this is not for me… we then stop engaging and inevitable stop trying. Not only do we not achieve what we set out too, though we also feel terrible for quitting. However, the truth in this scenario is that it was never for us to begin with, something that we would have known if adequate due diligence was carried out.
b) Sometimes, however, the change really is for us, though during select moments when we're under stress and feel weak the effort the changes require feels too much. When this happens, there is nothing the body and mind love to do more, then revert back to their old familiar groove... At the first sign of this regression, we need to employ the below strategies:
1. Write down all the reasons you want this change; let's call this the motivating factors, and put them in a list, put this list somewhere you can easily and readily access it; as your going to need it in the earlier stages.
2. Every time you feel yourself slipping, stop, take a drink of water and simply read those motivational factors. Having these motivating factors back in the forefront of the conscious stream is usually enough to enable a more sound judgment to be made.
3. Lastly, go easy on yourself…a lot of people become very discouraged due to the perceived lack of progress… you cannot go from 0 to 100 overnight and you cannot compare yourself to someone else… give yourself credit for how far you've come already…understand everything takes time.
Every now and then even with all the strategies employed... we can all feel like the effort to improve is too much. When this happens succeeding depends inevitably on how much love we hold for ourselves...
...My advice, stop and think of all crap you've already been through, you haven't quit thus fare, so I don't think you going to quit now either. Also, think of the future you, you're going to need to do your best right now, thus to equip that guy/girl with the tools they're going to need to overcome the challenges they face in the future.
The takeaway...practice self-respect!